How To Be Single.

Okay, I’m 31 years old, single as fuck, no kids and a dog. I live in Los Angeles, CA and I have a successful business, wonderful friends and Instagram always compliments me on my looks so let’s just say I ain’t bad lookin’. I have high confidence in myself, I’m not a psycho, I make the best choices I can, in bed by 9pm most nights and I mind my damn business. So lots of people inquire why I’m single. I’m not shocked when they scratch their heads and say, “I don’t understand why you’re single.”

Well, I’ll answer that, but after I give you my answer, I’m gon’ give you a few tips I learned from being single for the past year. Believe it or not, I haven’t really ever been single this long, so I took a dive off of the diving board and straight into this single life with no guide, but lots of protection.

I’m single because I’m absolutely terrified of dating again. After my very public relationship, I found myself in a deep depression. I felt like the lowest scum on this earth and to top it all off, I even had the pleasure of meeting most of the women who joined my relationship without me knowing. These women would send me messages explaining what my ex had done to them while him and I were still together. They would go into detail and after all of it, they would offer me kind words and let me know that it was okay to be without him because he was a terrible person. I’ve even had girls cry in my face about girl power while they were still conversing with him (but of course I found that out on the back end as well).

Now, after that shitshow, I felt this pull in my spirit telling me to really take a break from this shit because if I didn’t I would run the risk of having an epic Britney Spears moment wondering what I kept doing wrong in my relationships. It took me until I got comfortable in my singledom to realize that these lovely and amazing assholes were my main problem. I chose the same guy over and over.  I kept choosing the broken one who didn’t want to be fixed.  He knew how to mimic perfection, paint a picture, have great sex and smile pretty.

The way I describe being single after being a serial dater is going to the gym and breaking your boundaries. I noticed recently that my shins hurt everytime I would sprint or run. Instead of making that an excuse and instead of stopping so I wouldn’t potentially cause shin splints, I pushed past the pain and kept running. I was so uncomfortable, I was in pain, I wanted to stop and go back to what felt comfortable, but then it stopped hurting. My body got used to the feeling and it was easier to keep going. I ran and I ran until I just couldn’t go anymore.

Being single is not a fucking death sentence. 

This is how I survived my first year of singledom.

#1: I got spiritual. I listened to mediation music during my slumber, lit incense, smoked some weed, lit some sage and so on and so forth. I knew that I was going to spend lots of time by myself so I wanted to make it peaceful, happy and relaxing. Still until this day, I have the same routine. I want my energy to feel happy and I want to be someone who people have an enjoyable experience with when they’re around me. Most people that come to my house have that same relaxing, home feeling and that makes me proud. I also spent a lot of time praying to God and speaking to Him about my solitude. I wanted Him to be apart of my healing so I included him in my “meditations” (I always fall asleep) and I talk to Him like He’s laying right next to me. I told Him how I felt and in my lowest moments, I began to feel a weight being lifted off of me. There’s no greater feeling.

 

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#2: I got me some friends. Now, this is tough for me because I’m very careful about the energies I let into my life, however, I found it useful to see what life is like for others. I started to really get out of my comfort zone and started saying “YES” to people who invited me places. Because of this, I started seeing new places, hearing new sounds and trying new foods. I started being open to viewing how all walks of life live their lives. I’m not saying that every experience was amazing, but this is also how I ended up in Thailand for 9 days and also how I ended up doing a spiritual cleanse in Bali.

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#3: I started doing things without attachments. I rarely wait for other people these days. If I want to do something, I extend the invite and if nobody can go, I go alone. Recently, I booked a trip to Jamaica solo because nobody could go with me and I had been attempting to go for a few years now. Am I nervous? Not really. I was blessed with the funds to go see a place that I really want to see and I’m very excited. I learned that doing things alone might be frightening at first, but also we have to realize that we’re not alone in this world. There’s a human almost everywhere you go and most aren’t psychos and they’re able to hold a conversation. Hell, they may even be your soulmate.

#4: I go on dates. This is very rare because, LORD, men in Los Angeles have a gotdamn complex for the most part. Nobody wants to really date and there is a long list of excuses which are valid and very understandable. Neither here nor there, I’m from Texas and I love to be courted. However, most men here would prefer you come to their house so they can just fuck you and maybe think about seeing you outside of the house. Ew. Anywho, the last date I went on, I offered to pay (as a test) and the ni**a actually let me. That one was totally my fault. I don’t mind paying for anything, mind you, but I get turned off very easily if a man doesn’t court me and then wants to feel up on me. NO SIR. Okay, so we all know there are horror stories around dating, but get out there and date. It could be fun, it could be terrible, but you should get dressed up and feel beautiful nonetheless. That’s harmless.

#5: Entertain the idea of a cutty buddy. I’ve had my guard up with most guys in the sex department because I just didn’t want any new d*ck for a while. I would backtrack and step back into the old d*ck I used to have until I realized that I actually started liking them again. Then I trained myself to have a roster (which is maaaaaaaaaaaddddd empty right now). Your sex life is your business, sis, but I do want to throw out the fact that these ni**as are dirty and so are the females they mess with so let’s all just be safe here. My suggestion would be to buy condoms to keep at your house or with you. If they complain about condoms, get thin condoms. If they complain about those, have a serious talk with about the two of you only having sex with eachother.

#6: Get you a roster. Think of a roster as having one guy in multiple men. You have the guy you text, the guy you go on dates with, the one you invite places, the one you have sex with, the one you get intellectual with, etc… The older folks call this not putting all your eggs in one basket. Afterall, you are single and nobody is the boss of you.

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Now, I think it’s super important to remember that you are not an extension of someone else. You are whole and complete on your own. A lot of times, women get sad by themselves because they feel that they should have a partner and that they are missing something. I think filling this void with things you love and things that make you happy will cure everything. Remember that you are beautiful and you can do all things that you put your mind to. I don’t know if Mr. Right will even come along for me, but I do know that I am grateful for my own life and I am taking every single day as it comes with an open heart and grateful heart.

Good luck & you’re doing amazing sweetie.

Love,

Chriss.

This Mask Is Called: SunGlow

So this morning I woke up and laid in bed for a while which is NEVER the case. After a few hours I got up and decided to actually do something with myself.

On My Hair:

After washing my hair using my normal routine , I added Deva Curl Styling Cream and diffused my hair for the first time in my life. I normally let it air dry and I pick it out later on but for a quicker and more defined dry curl, I decided to give it a shot. BEST IDEA ever. I’ll go buy one from Deva Curl this week but I snagged Alex’s for this look.

On My Face:

Foundation: I used Shea Moisture Foundation which I LOVE because they truly understand the concept of skin that has multiple colors and undertones. I have a yellow undertone which makes it hard to find makeup that doesn’t look like I put on ashy cake batter.

Brows: I’ve never really strayed from Spiked by MAC. It’s been my number one brow pencil for years.

Mascara: I’ve been trying to stay away from false lashes because I always get lash glue on my contacts and that’s annoying! I also started thinking about how much damage I’m actually causing my eyes by allowing glue so close to them. So I started using a primer from L’Oreal and then applying the actual mascara.

Highlight: I swear up and down that I’ve tried every highlight and Becca just did the damn thing with hers. I get RiRi’s in the mail next week and I’m sure I’ll have fun with that one but I like a very natural glow.

Lips: I used my favorite gloss by TheBalm. Read My Lips  is the best lipgloss I’ve tried in a while. It doesn’t make my lips peel and it adds a really nice nude color.

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My shirt is a past style from my store Shop Chriss Zoë.

 

XO,

Chriss

My Hair Growth Journey

I’ve been trying to get my curls back up and running for only God knows how long and I’ve seen my mother pass my sister and I up every single time she cut her hair and grew it back. This time I took her cutting her hair off as a challenge. She shaved her entire head a few years ago and it’s almost longer than mine AGAIN!

In this entry I’m going to go through a bunch of pictures that show my hair length and I’ll tell you what I was doing that either stunted the growth or helped it grow like weeds. I’ll also give you all the hair products I use and are faithful to. Enjoy!

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This was in February 2016. I was straightening the fuck out of my hair constantly. I never got trims, I didn’t take care of it and I got one cut in December that took off the dead ends but my hair had still been this length for years after this cut. I was also using whatever shampoo I could get my hands on which is an absolute no-no.

These two pictures are from August 2016. I was still straightening my hair a lot and used clip ins a lot when I wanted long hair. However, I switched to using Deva Curl no-poo and conditioner and I noticed a slight change in my texture. This is when my hair started to grow a tad bit.

These were taken in September 2016. I was still using DevaCurl but I was still (as you can see) straightening the hell out of my hair. I wasn’t getting trims and I never really put anything on my hair to keep it moisturized. It was growing a tad bit as you can see.

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In December 2016, I was using clip ins to cover up my damage and laziness with my hair. I was still using Deva Curl products and I had started prenatal vitamins by this time. The curl was barely there from straightening my hair so often and I tried to make it work but ended up looking like “who done it and why?”.

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January 2017, same story, different picture.

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It wasn’t until March 2017 that I started really getting into protective styling.  I wasn’t on prenatals any longer and I starting using Organics Hair Mayonnaise along with Deva Curl. With the hair mayonnaise, I would wash my hair and put it on my hair almost every other day. Some days I would walk around with it in my head all day and some nights I would just sleep with it in my hair. I also started getting trims every three months. As far as straightening my hair, I still couldn’t go cold turkey so I would straighten it every now and then.

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In April 2016, I was wearing curly clip ins but I still used heat to make my curls match the fake hair. As you can see, I was still struggling with just wearing my natural hair and this was breaking my ends again.

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This was May 22, 2016. I stopped straightening my hair so much, I was still using Deva Curl products and hair mayonnaise. My curls were much more defined by this time.

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The beginning of June 2017 was the first time I had straightened my hair for a while. It was shinier, it had some length but I still had some false pieces in the front.

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The end of June 2017: I hadn’t straightened my hair in a few weeks but I wasn’t quite using the correct hair products yet. Also, this was DEFINITELY fake hair using clip ins.

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This was the end of July 2017. I hadn’t straightened my hair since the beginning of June 2017. Check out that growth.

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Mid August 2017: I finally started styling my hair with Pro Styl and my curls stayed all day but of course my hair was hard as hell all day! By this time, I started to incorporate Organic Hair Fertilizer. I’ve noticed that my hair literally began flourishing. It felt better, thicker, and softer. These are clip ins as well and my real hair was in the front but luckily it blended perfectly so you can’t really tell.

The beginning of September 2017 I decided to finally let my curls free. This is with NO clip ins and I styled it using Deva Curl Gel. The first two are when my hair was wet or half dry and the below photo is when my hair was dry.

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The below photo is my hair September 10th. I used a Deep Conditioner, Deva Curl and my same hair routine. I have a long way to go but I’m happy that my hair is growing really fast!

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XO,

Chriss

Make That Money, Honey!

I was in the airport the other day and started looking at tons of information I rarely get to look at because I’m all over the place. I have a financial advisor who keeps everything organized for me so I don’t go completely crazy trying to keep up with life. Anywho, so I ran across my sales report for the year and nearly dropped my phone.

In a matter of 1 month, I increased my sales by roughly 322% (my friends are arguing that it’s from 322% to 422%). Don’t believe me?

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I’ve been on my HUSTLE and I won’t stop until I reach every single goal that I have. A few years ago I wrote a booklet, “How I Became My Own Business” which is available on my website for purchase. I recently revised it due to all the questions I got on the back end.

Inside is useful information on how to start your idea, the necessary steps to take in order to be a legit business and also tips on what to do and what not to do in business. Here’s a little peek inside:

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This booklet kept me on my toes even when I wasn’t aware of it. I remembered small little things I let fall by the wayside when I wasn’t doing so well in business and I basically hit the restart button, took another stroll down my own path and “BOOM!!!!”. I was back in business. The time flew by, of course, and I have now increased my sales by roughly 655% as of last month.

In the above video, I briefly explain a few things but I highly encourage you to get the booklet because it has some really good tips in there. Use the code “CEO” for 15% off of the booklet now at shopchrisszoe.com.

Good luck!

Chriss

Charlie Rose

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was happy as hell. Of course I was scared, but I was happy. I took the pregnancy test to my partner at the time and immediately was met with a nonchalant response. From that moment on, I knew the journey was mine.

The next few weeks I dug into every google article I could find about pregnancy and motherhood. I even downloaded apps that would track the whole entire pregnancy and help me understand what was truly happening inside of me.

December 23rd, my stepfather passed away and I felt a very powerful connection with myself and the universe. As my stepfather took his last breath, I had my hand on his heart praying for God to come to his child and meet him where he stood. As one life leaves, another is created. I felt more than human, I felt like a vessel and a pathway.

My first trimester was absolutely terrible. I couldn’t eat, I lost about 15 pounds, my body ached and I wasn’t in the best head space due to my partner and the passing of my step father. I was also losing lots of money because my business was failing and I had to pay for every doctors visit out of pocket because I had no insurance. But then something happened.

I heard her heart for the first time. I cried because it was all real now. Before, I was just sick and suffering but now it was real as fuck! I felt a wave of emotions all consisting of fear, happiness, confusion and anger.

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There she was, Miss America.

I told my mother about her new baby in the form of a “starter kit”. I recently went home to Houston and reclaimed it from her because it made me happy to see it again.

 

 

 

I used to sit in the shower and have conversations with her and wonder what she would look like or who she would become. I always knew to name her “Charlie” whether it was a boy or a girl but I remember one day I was sitting in the shower and BOOM! It was like a ton of rocks hit me. CHARLIE ROSE! I quickly got out of the shower (which was hard to do because I was always so tired and near death) and texted my friends and family the name.

I started to become excited and truly connect with Charlie even though I had no idea if I was having a boy or girl. Sadly, I would never meet Charlie. As I made my transition from trauma and drama, I had to say goodbye to my girl because I made the personal decision to be free from my previous situation.

I remember going in and being depressed as all the questions and instructions were thrown around like morning news. “Go in here, do this, do that, are you allergic…?” etc etc. Before I let my girl go I heard, “You sure about this?”

Fuck no. I didn’t want to be there and I didn’t want to do this, but I had to. After the procedure, I woke up and immediately wanted to die. This was not life for me. But it was. So I had to get up and do something about it.

The next few weeks were absolutely horrible for me. I was in tremendous pain and I was depressed and even had thoughts of not being alive anymore. I hated my process and I would spend many nights alone in the dark crying and talking to God.

On a trip to Mexico with my sister in April I remember walking out to the beach and wondering if I even wanted to continue life. I honestly had this in my mind. I felt like I smiled a fake smile that I could take on and off when need be. After I gathered my thoughts I had a conversation with a dear friend and she told me that what’s meant for me will simply be. Charlie Rose is mine and she will find me again. BOOM… Just like that.

I could finally breathe again and I could finally understand what I understood the day my stepfather died. This life is not ours but we are truly vessels of His plan. He gave me her for a second but knew that I wasn’t ready to receive her in my situation.

Here’s to Charlie Rose. I will always cherish you and I look forward to meeting you when I’m ready for your glory.

Happy Labor Day. How ironic. She would have been born today, September 4, 2017.

Love,

Chriss

Self Respect After Loss

I’ve been reading A LOT and one of my favorite books that I finished is Life And Death: A Medium’s Message To Help You Overcome Grief And Find Closure by Tim Braun and another that I’m still chipping away at is Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie. While reading keeps me pretty sane these days, I have learned some very valuable lessons from it. There’s a lot of information out there that we are able to take ahold of and reel in for our own benefit… It’s solely up to us to do so.

As we all know, I lost my stepfather in December 2016 and went through a traumatic experience shortly after. After this, I was completely lost. I had to literally start from scratch with my material possessions and my spiritual possessions. Plenty of people have complimented me on my resilience in those situations because it seemed as if I had it all together. I look back and realize that I truly must have been strong but I didn’t feel a thing (in perspective)… I just moved through it by looking at the other side of things.

I felt numb the whole way through, I didn’t want to feel sad, I didn’t want to accept my feelings, I didn’t want to feel emotions at all. I went through a wave of choosing anger instead of happiness. I would feel anger when I was supposed to feel sad or happy or whatever the case may be. I was empty because I had cracked into a million pieces at age 28 and I had to start all the way over.

The first time I went back to Houston to see my stepfathers grave was where I learned to operate at higher vibrations. I honestly didn’t think I could handle actually seeing his grave because then it would be real. The second I finished “Life and Death” by Tim Braun, my whole world changed. I felt POWERFUL. I made tons of money, men flocked to me, my skin was glowing, my hair was growing, everything was right in life and I felt like I could conquer anything.

I went to the graveyard, couldn’t find my stepfathers grave and so I simply asked him where he was. I closed my eyes, drifted into my higher vibration and was led toward his grave by “gravity”. It shocked me so I snapped out of it and shook off the feeling. When I asked my mother where the grave was, it was in the direction I was being pulled in. WOW. After that experience, I’ve been operating in my higher vibration ever since.

When I returned to Los Angeles, I found myself being okay with being alone because I was enjoying my own company. I realized that I didn’t need another human to feel that happiness. I also still felt (and still feel) very powerful.

Today I learned that self respect comes from SELF. If you don’t know yourSELF, it is very difficult to respect it. Here are a few tips of getting to know yourself.

  1. Try doing these things alone
  2. Shopping
  3. Eating at a nice restaurant
  4. Roaming a new city
  5. Going to the bookstore
  6. Traveling to a new state
  7. Spending a day at the spa
  8. Driving just to drive

You always come first. I have faith in you and I know that you are on your way to getting exactly what you want. Those two books at the beginning of this post are really helpful in my recovery. I would highly suggest them.

XO,

Chriss